The Majesty of the Dixon Ticonderoga®
If Seinfeld gets to make a Pop-Tart® movie, I get to write about pencils.
I would like to say a few words in support of one of my favorite products, the Dixon Ticonderoga® pencil. (This newsletter is not sponsored by Dixon Ticonderoga®.)
As I see it, a pencil has two jobs: writing and erasing. (If you have other uses for a pencil, please keep them private.) In terms of writing, the Ticonderoga® cannot be beat. It sharpens perfectly every time. None of that bullcrap where the wood sharpens faster than the graphite. You know what I’m talking about.
Ticonderogas® also erase at a very high level. No smearing! (Take note, Office Depot® brand.) If you have an issue with a Ticonderoga® eraser, it’s definitely your fault. You must have dropped it in the dirt or something. Take some personal responsibility,
I’m actually not sure why I’m so passionate about Ticonderogas®. If I’m being honest, which I always am with you, my loyal readers, I hardly ever use pencils. Pencils are for sketching and math, two activities I abandoned years ago when it became apparent that I had a very low ceiling of potential in both, and I had already reached it. Essentially, pencils are a child’s domain. That’s why I use pens, like a real man. But I guess I just really respect a good product. In fact, when a product is so well-designed, it makes me wonder why alternatives even exist. This is a point I made years ago with my controversial Milky Way®/Twix® joke.
When I become a parent, my kids will get only the best, which means Twix® bars on Halloween and Ticonderogas® for their school work. This is assuming that someday I will have children, pencils will still be in use, and learning will be happening in schools…a forecast that, quite frankly, is not grounded in reality. Oh well.